You are happy and want to have everyone around you to be happy too. it troubles and bothers you to be happy alone. So you want at once to do your utmost to be worthy of that happiness and maybe do some great deed to satisfy your conscience. Maybe gratitude is enough, Isn’t that true? Like a young koffee once said “We haffi give thanks like we really supposed to, be thankful”

Ever gone to a funeral and nobody is crying? The vigil is as lively as ever and nobody dare discusses the loss directly? Actually any obvious teary grieving is looked at as as insincere? yup, that’s how things are. This maybe or not a case of denial, or rather this is what we were trained for all our lives. it is what it is!

You can only pass on what you know, this is very true in almost everything from what your idea of family values are and in my case the definition of family goes beyond people you’ve ever heard of or met in your life.

Just like public grieving, over the top appreciation is looked at as (for lack of a better word) an “apple polisher” and in some cases rude for nobody should be an obsequious family member. So in many a case,( at least as long as the name person is alive) we take for granted that they understand we are appreciative and demonstrate this by doing the same to our younger cousins/relatives. but never in words, for the tongue is sly and the action is what is consistent.

In case my futile attempts to explain my case make no sense, allow me to give you a scenario of situations. If i visited a city with a (hypothetical) relative, my immediate thought process is that i have to reach out to them and visit them at the nearest opportunity, on the other hand,their expectations is that i would be staying with them (regardless of any situation i might have thought inconvenient to them)

A very interesting differentiation between extended African societies and the western societies is the yearning to be independent and leave their parents house on the earliest opportunity (and probably make an appointment to visit) for both the parents and children in the west, as opposed to never (at least not before marriage) for the african one… and in some extreme asian cases just building a generational house with grandparents to grandchildren….

But to my dear fam, think about it, how does one explain a camp Kisementi or camp David experience? communal family experiences? support structures? turn up hotspots? is there even any point in trying to explain this to someone that has grown up in western individualistic culture whose normal is labeled food in their fridge (i still fail to wrap my head around this idea that parts of a fridge can be individualistic)- like a famous Russian-loving, sun-beaten orange Skittle one said “SAD”

Any whooooo before i get carried away with the exciting current events, let me break the rules and give my heart felt gratitude to a couple of people that helped me through my childhood (out of respect we’ll keep Mr Budha Bob and Mme Ingabire out of the list– no words could do them justice)

To my beloved aunt (God bless her soul for she loved the lord) tough me what it was to trek the kigezi hills every cold morning for the “misa ya bikila malia” something she probably shouldn’t have been doing considering she was asthmatic.

When i think of my secondary school life (Disclaimer, this rhymer, Richo, is not using’ “secondary” as is, but as a psychological weapon to set in your mind and really mess with your conceptions. Discretion’s, reflections, it’s misdirection that he was in a seminary) ….. it was one thing to receive a letter (damn i am giving away my age) but it was a whole other level to receive some pocket money in the envelope with words of encouragement to work harder from a big sister (Love you Sis)

Being young is a trick, so when you’re malleable and probably unmentored, it can be a complicated combination, maybe with no relevance, until that intelligence meets juvenile preference.. i wouldn’t know coz i had a big brother that paved the way for me in one too many a way from seminary to university and even in a certain employment office and investment fund.. big tings yuh gwan bruv major moves, makes that dollar déjà vu.

Lets talk pocket money for a minute, Every family has its own approach: some parents buy every thing for their children themselves, some give them a little cash or both.. neither is relevant in this case. I wanna talk about that visit to uncle so and so when you were super broke (but too proud to ask anyone for some mulla.) These mind reading elders knew whats up and lawd am i still grateful, i do hope i can propagate this least cogitatióne, verbo, ópere et omissióne: mea culpa, mea máxima culpa (there goes the school fees spent in latin seminary class) Don’t get it twisted, it was and will never be about the money, but rather the providing for family.

As i mentioned, i am a firm believer that you can only teach what you know. Anything different is like if Megan Thee Stallion decided to never bend her knees again. It’s like Jesus deciding to become a fisher of fish! could be possible but that’s usually it “a possibility”.

Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.