Tying to trace the evolution of my hatter feelings and see if i can find the words that best matched the thoughts. Forgive the ramblings for the two definitely made an odd pair

said nobody ever

There are people in the world who, thanks to the lack of intellectual acuity, live a life that is surprisingly artificial. i haven’t run across that many, but, there are certainly a few and ooh how my face loves to embarrass me by exposing how i feel without uttering a word. You see, i have a face without filters of emotion and its always on auto pilot. ^{(i know for a fact i am not alone in this struggle)}

Take a minute to assume you are in my shoes with a dear friend, in a lovely conversation where they are educating you about stones as follows “some unblock sacred chakra,others amplify or even transfer positive energy, quartz for example stimulates brain function, tiger eye increases awareness,pryrite wards off danger and amethyst cures hangovers“

Its at the end of this sentence, that due to civility, i say nothing, but my facial reaction is just responding as follows “you have learnt to talk nonsense seriously, and you have gotten into a way of telling fibs for the pleasure of telling them” Please note that i utter no such words, after all the rules are simple “See no BS, Hear no BS, Speak no BS” [the thought doesn’t count in this case].

Am i just a hater though? why am i triggered by any of this? In a world where Trump is president surely i cant be triggered by a tree hugger or gemstone appreciator. I guess its less about the people than the fact that suddenly, its acceptable to refer offhandedly to mercury retrograde, to carry a piece of rose quartz everywhere you go, use star sign as a relationship compatibility test and buy a million candles for some shrine. (^{This entire paragraph could read as a personal attack by any number of close friends, and i apologize}_.)

I had a personal reflection recently and noted something about this new found hatteration.
Since I started my sobriety (forced upon by the covid quarantine), I’ve become less social, spending more time alone.. I love that it’s got me back into reading and helped with some savings since I am not eating out often or drinking.

On the other hand, random thoughts creep up once in a while, a lot of inwards thinking that could lead to dark space. It’s quite easy, especially especially for someone who is living alone and having little interactions with other people. Who would have thought boozing as a social activity would contribute to mental wellness. So maybe i am deflecting some ish issa rae style?

But then again i cant help but think that as long as i can remember, i believed that the trajectory of humankind arced towards improvement. Yes, we may have began in ignorance and brute force, but i fervently believe we were slowly and inexorably evolving into creatures of greater intelligence and compassion.

I was wrong.

It appears as if the only thing that’s inexorable, is stupidity and violence. Sadly nature or God – take your pick – has designed an ecosystem in which intelligence and compassion are anomalies.( martin Luther king jr said the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice. He was right about most other stuff)

Also the idea that a random location of balls of gases burning billions miles away in the galaxy, when you are born, some how has an influence on your personality is not a only a preposterous idea but a dangerous pseudoscience used to justify some toxic behaviors. (trigger fingers turned to twitter fingers)